All of us encounter situations when somebody is really hurting and our heart goes out to them. We wonder how we can help them most optimally. Here are some of my thoughts on this subject.
(1) Assess your own ability to help. Extend your help only when you sincerely feel that you can help that person.
(2) As your first action get into a sincere communication with the person.
(3) Be a good listener. Listen carefully to what the person is telling you, without interrupting.
(4) Acknowledge appropriately so the person knows he or she is being listened to.
(5) Do not offer any advice. Do not comment on what the person is telling you.
(6) If the person asks for advice simply provide him with your honest experience in a similar area, but also tell him that it may or may not apply to his or her situation.
(7) If the person’s asks any questions then answer as honestly as you can in a manner, which encourages the person to look more closely at his or her situation.
(8) Introduce the person to KHTK principles. Explain that resolution comes rapidly when one looks non-judgmentally and without resistance, with enough patience.
(9) Observe the area the person has most attention on. Notice possible inconsistencies.
(10) Point to that area and ask the person if he or she sees any inconsistencies in it. Do not suggest anything.
(11) Never ask for any details. Let the person determine what to tell you.
(12) Guide the person as best as you can in looking in the direction where maximum inconsistencies lie.
(13) It is the person’s looking, and not he or she talking to you, that will bring clarity to that person’s mind.
(14) Realize that you have helped the person, when his or her attention is freed up, and the person appears to be more “there” and happy.
(15) Always help the person in the direction of making him or her more capable.
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Comments
I am still looking at points 10 and 12 above. I feel that more explanation is required here.
(a) Ask if he sees as inconsistency what appears as an inconsistency to you in all honesty.
(b) Be willing to be corrected in the ensuing discussion on this point.
(c) Never press forward with your opinion.
(d) You look too while you are asking the other person to look.
(e) Do not pursue the point if you feel there is resistance from the other person.
(f) Simply acknowledge and take up some other point.
(g) Let the other person take time to look over the first point on his/her own.
(h) Let that person come back to that point later in future if he/she wants to.
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